I suppose it’s inevitable with a little alien squirming around in your stomach whenever you settle down from your busy day and really, it’s not at all their fault that they get rocked to sleep by your motions and then stay up all night but my goodness, I am not a happy camper. It’s not even that the baby is kicking me, which is surprising considering that my husband and I would both totally torture each other just for the heck of it, but it is so weird having this extra weight in front of me while I’m lying on my side and on top of that I can’t sleep in either of my two favourite positions (those being on my stomach and on my back).
I’ve been finding a lot of pregnancy symptoms to be both cruel and humorous. Most woman get incredibly tired during pregnancy, from what I’ve heard, and I’m no exception to that so to be that tired and also have trouble sleeping at night is such a pain in the ass. To be hungry all the time but also nauseous with a sensitive sense of smell, or get hot and thirsty all the time but then you have to go to the bathroom every time you take a friggin’ sip. It’s ridiculous and I can’t help but just laugh at myself the entire time.
Don’t get me wrong, I think I am completely blessed but sometimes, you just gotta look at yourself and say you know what? That really sucks and should probably blog about it.
You have those moments where you’ve been stewing over something that someone has been doing (or not doing) for days or even weeks then you finally get the nerve to talk to them about it and they take it so graciously it just leaves you feeling like an idiot?
I do this a lot, you’d think I’d learn after all these years that when this happens, the most likely outcome will be reconciliation and sometimes it will even strengthen the relationship.
Summer has always been a time of change for me, I’ve never entered Autumn the same person I was in the Summer. I can hardly remember an August where I didn’t want to shed the skin I was in or a July where I didn’t do something risky.
The Summer of ‘08, before I met my husband was a portion of that year that I’d like not to remember sometimes. I was sixteen, had just moved back to my hometown from living in the city with my Grandmother and boy did my friends want to celebrate my return.
My friend Kelsee practically lived at my house for those two months since my mom was always out of town with her new boyfriend and we had come to notice that we were at a party every second night. There were times that I woke up at home, unable to remember how or when I got there or why I was missing articles of clothing.
It was probably the most reckless time of my life. I ended up re-kindling my romance with the only guy I had dated seriously up until that point despite the fact that he had a girlfriend, I fell for “I love yous” and somehow caused fights. I slept with someone I had a platonic relationship with since I was five and made out with one of my best female friends a few times.
As Fall approached though, I started to calm down and I think my body went into shock from all the social interaction because suddenly I couldn’t get enough of being at home and inside. Which worked out for me in the long run, had I been out all the time I would have missed meeting the man who I’m now married to.
Next Summer had even bigger changes and the pattern is still continuing even now, but those are posts for another time.
I’ve known for quite a while now but you and I are not so close of friends that I’d tell you before I told my family (no offense), so you’re getting the news a couple weeks later than everyone else did.
I’m going through a ton of life changes right now that usually happen to people over an extended period of time and not all within the same few months. I’m married, I’m going to be a mother, soon I won’t be a teenager and college might be just around the corner. At first I was thinking to myself, what in the hell is up with this? I remember a time where I didn’t ever want to get married, where I said I wouldn’t have kids until I was done college and God only knows what happened to my teenage years. Now, when analyzing the type of person I am (one who grows up fast, obviously), it kind of fits and I’m okay with it.
Sure this wasn’t planned, I was using contraceptives so this was quite the surprise but we’re both incredibly happy, as well as always hungry.
Later internets, forgive my lack of posts
Sometimes, there are just some pieces that don’t fit into the puzzle that is your life, no matter how pretty and alluring they look. They just don’t. You’ll probably ask yourself a million times, “Why?”, you’ll shout up at whatever it is that you believe in to answer you and listen to all the “time heals all wounds” from various voices thinking that they couldn’t possibly understand.
Then one day, you discover that there was another piece missing from your life and though it probably will never replace that piece that you pined for (though in my case it did), it will at least help to make both pieces fit into two separate sections of your life, one being your past and the other your future. You’ll smile to yourself or perhaps feel a little sadness when you stop and remember that part of the puzzle and how you thought that it would last forever as you compare it to where you are now, it’ll make sense. There are people who will always wonder all the possible what ifs? but I think that in the end, most are content with not ever pursuing them.
As corny as this all sounds, things do happen for a reason. They’re not all great reasons but I like to take comfort in the fact that the ways of the universe are intentional despite not seeming that way. I think it’s the romantics in us that like to believe in chance happenings when it comes to the people in our lives, usually though, those people come to reveal their great uses and purposes in our lives.
I think it’s kind of beautiful.
Being with someone for three years is a long time, you change a lot along the way and as they change, you learn that you like things you never thought you would like about someone.
I remember there was this point in our relationship when we were at the pub with friends, I felt like he wasn’t the misanthropic, cynical, lone-wolf man that I fell for. He was very social and optimistic, it took me a long time to realize that he probably came off that way because he had the woman he loved sitting beside him rather than a 28 hour drive away.
I look at where we are today, we keep the groups that we hang out with small and awesome. I look forward to our social gatherings and people asking about “us” as though we think and feel the same things and are now just one big mushy blob. We kept the best of both worlds in our social life, though we still prefer to be at home alone, playing battlefield 3 and re-watching 30 rock episodes, it’s nice to know that when we’re feeling like getting out that there are some wonderful people to visit.
I think a part of me was previously too reluctant to change the fact that she cut ties with her old friends for a reason and kind of just forgot to make new ones. Perhaps, though, it wasn’t that we changed at all and more that we added things to our lives. At least that’s the way that I like to look at it.
